Thursday, December 21, 2017

It's Christmas, but it doesn't feel like it.


I don't usually write about any holidays, but this was on my heart this morning.

The tree has been up for weeks. We've been listening to Christmas music since Black Friday. I have twinkle lights up in my room and bits of Christmas decor. We've done the Christmas baking day. We've watched Christmas movies. All the presents I bought have been wrapped. Everywhere I go screams Christmas.

I want to be excited and enthusiastic about the season like everyone else. I'm just. Not.

But I'm not upset about it.

I had a similar feeling last year and was pleasantly surprised to feel a little better about it this year.

I'm so grateful for all the blessings we receive every day. The comfortable lives we live. The family and friends I have. The fantastic experiences I've gotten to have this year.

My joy comes from the Lord, not from a time of year. I can choose to be happy around this time because of what Christ did for us. Christmas is a reminder of God's Gift to us, and we celebrate that by giving gifts to the people we love.

We are so used to having a certain mood around Christmas, and when we don't feel it we identify the absence of the feeling as not normal and depressing. We grow and change, yet we expect to always have the same feeling around Christmas year after year. We can't seem to accept and learn to expect that our moods change as we grow.

That doesn't mean that the sense of magic around this time of year diminishes as we journey through life, if anything it grows as we learn to see the deeper meaning behind the glitter of Christmas.

But it's not something we can force and still expect to be happy. Sure, there are things we can do to 'get ourselves in the holiday spirit,' and I'm not denying the helpfulness of those things. By all means, if it takes a certain something each year to get you into the mood, then don't hesitate (unless it's something like, you know, punching someone in the nose, then you might want to rethink your method).

How is everyone doing?
Do you have any thoughts to add?
Just for kicks, what is one of your favorite Christmas traditions?
Also, wow. Only a few days left in 2017!
What is something new you learned this year?

lessons from the barn


Alright, so you all know that I lost my job last month; and if you don't, yeah that happened.

I'm still working through some issues with getting past it. Fun stuff like impatience and bitterness. Joy, joy, joy.

A few days ago was one of the really low days- and I was absolutely fine until I was trying to fall asleep and the whole thing hit me again.

I missed working. I missed waking up every morning excited about the new day. I missed seeing all the horses, even the ones who behaved like snots most of the time. I missed petting one of the dogs every time I walked by him in the tack room. I missed the other dog's rambunctious greetings every morning. I missed the cats yelling at me to pick them up. I even missed the soreness from a good ride and my feet being stepped on and coming home all dusty and tired.

It was already late, much later than I would have liked to be trying to fall asleep, but I hadn't been tired. But then I couldn't fall asleep because I was crying and having a discussion with God about it (mostly asking Him to explain Himself).

And then my rooster started crowing. It was one in the morning. Pitch black. I still don't know why I even noticed him, or even the lesson behind that, or even if there was supposed to be a wink there, but in any case, it got my attention and my mind off of my pity party. Granted, I still didn't fall asleep until around two, but I was able to sleep whereas before I was thinking I'd probably be up much later crying.

Then that morning, I saw on Facebook one of the girls in a Christian Girls' group I am a part of posted a song with the caption saying that she felt like one of us needed to hear it that morning. Boy was she right. Later another of my Facebook friends posted John 13:7 "Jesus replied, 'You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.'"

This morning was beautiful. The sun is out for the first time after a few days of clouds and rain. It is supposed to get into the 70's later this afternoon. The birds are all damp and the coop is a muddy mess. So I was going to let them out all day to give everything a chance to dry out.

But there was a hawk perched in a tree nearby.


If I let anyone out, more than likely at least one of them would be gone by the time I put them back up this evening. So I didn't let anyone out. They were upset and complaining at me when I only gave them fresh food and water and left them penned up. But I did it for their own good. They didn't understand, and they probably won't ever understand, but at least they will all be safe for today.

They don't know when a hawk is eyeing them from a tree, or if a bobcat is watching from the grass, but when I see the danger, I keep them safe by keeping them back. They don't get it. They still fuss at me.

But here's the deal. We do the same thing when God keeps us back from something.

We think we have it all figured out. We have our plan, and we think that out plan will be perfect for us. But then the plan falls through and we freak out. We get upset and start squawking. We may never figure out why the plan didn't work, but we can know that God always has our best interests in mind.

Eventually He gives us a little thought. Something to give us a hint as to why He did what He did. I like to call them Winks. Usually He has to give me a few Winks before I finally get it and realize He was even Winking at me.

Anyway.
Those are some of my thoughts for the day.
Is there anything you would like to add?
Anything I can be praying for you?

Tuesday, December 12, 2017

Feathers /// photo day


Due to having so many birds, there is an abundance of feathers around the coop. I like to pick up the especially pretty ones and hang on to them for pictures or projects.

Unless marked with an asterisk (*), I didn't edit these. Mostly because I am in the middle of figuring out what my day to day schedule is and photo editing hasn't made it high enough on the list to make editing every single photo a reality, plus it's just easier to shoot it right in the first place anyway.


See, feathers EVERYWHERE. I could probably pick up enough to stuff a pillow.





kind of in love with the unintentional light leak



Playing with super shallow depths of field.

Why no, I do not have a macro lens. I do this thing where I take the kit lens off of the camera body and hold it in front of where it is connected and get really close to what I'm shooting. It creates a similar effect, but I can add super cool light leaks and I don't have to spend a couple hundred on a second lens.

*does not work in automatic mode, you do have to be brave and shoot in manual mode.






  
See! Light leaks, super fun! No editing!








Light leak was a little too much on this one, but I love it anyway
 


You don't have to have a super high-tech set up either, I shot all of the close ups on my window sill so I could get plenty of natural light and a white background. Could probably get really cool effects with Christmas lights in the background as well, I'm going to have to try that!

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Favorite close up?
Favorite feather?
Favorite duck? 
(mine's either Junior, the one closest to the camera, or Monsieur Colorful, the one directly behind her whose beak is slightly cut off by the coop wall)

Thursday, November 30, 2017

Rollercoaster Month /// November Recap










Well, congratulations to all of y'all who survived the craziness of NaNo, I applaud you!


And to those of you who didn't do NaNo, I applaud you for surviving the month where the weather goes haywire instead of choosing a pattern and sticking to it like it should.



Points of Information:

Fall has actually settled Texas. I am very happy about that.
Thanksgiving happened.
College stuff is still going well.

Work Things:

*horse is a dream for the farrier* *even has her blanket on and isn't scared of the rustling sounds* *until the last foot* *farrier touches her hip* *horse explodes forward* *almost knocks me flat* "Really?"
totally accurate depiction of what it's like to hang on
Horse has a ridiculously long tail. Tail has been wrapped up into a ball for the past three-ish weeks. Horse has a tendency to stomp his back legs and whip his tail around in the crossties. I unwrap his tail so I can rebraid it. Braid comes free, and I go throw away the wrapping. *horse whips his tail around* *horse smacks himself in the stomach* *horse jumps because he thinks I whipped him* *horse gives me a look* "Hey, that one was on you, I had nothing to do with it!" *chuckles*

Stallion at the end stall. Farrier does his work by that stall. Mare. Stallion flips out. Stallion is jumping around and rearing and looking over the top of the stall wall that has to be eight or nine feet high. And that's the story of why that particular horse no longer lives in that stall.

*cleaning out the tack room last month* "Hey look!" *holds up thing* "A mummified mouse!" Everyone else: "What are you doing holding that! Go throw it away and wash your hands!" *a few minutes later* Me: "Hey look, another one!" *holds it up by the tail* *minor freakoutation again* "Guys, relax, this thing has been sitting in dust long enough that all the germs are probably mostly gone anyways."

I don't know, I probably got stepped on a couple times.


So remember how last month I came back to work and another lady had been hired? Yeah. Well. About that. My boss couldn't afford to keep both of us so I was the cut because in the horse world experience outweighs how long you've been working at the place.

I'm trying not to be bitter or hold hard feelings about it, but it's definitely been difficult. I had to go back a week after she let me go to pick up my last paycheck. Let me just twist that dagger a little bit. I honestly was holding up pretty well, but then one of the other trainers asked me how I was doing with all of it, and that's when I cracked and ended up crying.

I'll definitely miss all the critters there.


So I've been job hunting. I've sent out a ton of emails, stalked job pages on Facebook, asked people if they had work or knew of people with work. I've had several answers of "no, but good luck!" I had one nibble, but I wouldn't have been able to even meet with her until after Christmas. I had a bite, but I didn't set the hook before he asked how much I was looking to be paid, so he had to say no because he couldn't afford to pay me what I was looking for. I had an internship offered, and I'm thinking about that- even just to get experience.

So I'm back to making cinnamon rolls for the holidays. The kitchen smells fabulous though, so that's been nice.

Barnyard Things:

Two more of my birds flew the coop, the last rooster I hatched and Grey. That one hit hard because I was looking forward to seeing what his babies would have looked like, since he was a mix of two very dominant (colorwise) breeds. I'm watching everyone like a hawk now. I can't just keep losing them like this, it's not fair to them.

Other Things:

I had coffee with a guy. No, nothing has come of it. No, I was not expecting anything to come of it. Yes, he was very polite and respectful. No, neither of us actually got coffee. I had hot chocolate, and he had iced tea. Yes, the whole ordeal was extremely awkward.


So we spent Thanksgiving with Dad's side this year. Somehow Gabe ended up wearing Mia's skinny jeans that day instead of his jeans. We didn't figure it out until the middle of the afternoon. We couldn't take him seriously after that.


A baby skunk is hanging around. His name is Flower.

Somehow went from *needs four full meals + 5000 snacks* to *you know what, I'm not that hungry* *eats a snack at 2pm and calls it lunch*


Our church had a joint service the Sunday before Thanksgiving with the church we rent the building from. That was fun. They had a person opening the door and greeting. We walked in, and immediately Mom remembered that we had forgotten to bring in the salad for the potluck afterwards, so she sent me out again. Person chuckles under his breath when he has to open the door for me a second time. Grandpa arrives. I had baked goods to hand off to him, and since we had time I went out again. The hand off goes smoothly. And I walk back into church. "I'll just keep opening the door." *chuckles* (keep in mind, this all happened one right after the other, so this was probably about in the space of five minutes)

Breaking and Entering:

(because I'm sure y'all want to know how that happened)

So a family from church had to go out of state because their Grandmother had a stroke and they needed to be up there with her. This family has two dogs, and it's not like they are little so they can just go with the family wherever. This family also lives 30 minutes away from us.

Since they were going to be gone for almost two weeks, they needed someone to housesit for them. Somehow I was their choice (personally, I would have asked someone in their neighborhood, or someone from the church who lived closer. But then maybe they did, and I was their last resort. I'll never know).

So they leave on Wednesday, the day before Thanksgiving. That Wednesday was also Christian's birthday, so we all had a jolly time celebrating his day. And to top it off, we watched a movie that night. I still had to stop by and feed the dogs (who live inside, so regardless of feeding, I would have to let them out). So the movie ends at 9:30-40ish, and Mom and Dad decide that Christian should go with me. So we get there, well after 10, and start looking for the key they were going to leave out for me so I could get in the house.

We can't find it.

So I call them. Keep in mind, they are already like, 5 hours on the road at this point. They tell us where the key is supposed to be, and we are looking all over for it in that area. No key.

They had left a key out for their kids to use after they come home from school, but the kids said that they had never needed it. So it was on the hook with the rest of their keys in the kitchen. And they had forgotten to put it out for me.


So the dad is on the phone with us trying to help us figure out how to force a window and get in that way. He said to push in and up.

*coughcough* We pushed in all right. And the window kept going in. So at this point the dogs are already borderline freaking out because someone is outside their house. Breaking the window didn't help them calm down in the least.


So of course we told the dad what happened, and luckily he was okay with everything and was in the middle of replacing the windows in the house anyway so he had a spare window to put in. He also went ahead and called the police station to let them know that no one was trying to burgle the house so if anyone reported us they wouldn't send someone out and arrest us. (at one point there was a truck parked on a corner watching us)


It's around 11 now, and we still have to take care of the dogs, find the key inside, put in the new window and clean up the broken glass, as well as drive home so we can wake up and spend Thanksgiving morning with the rest of the family instead of spending the night there, driving home in the morning, and then driving back out to spend the day with Dad's side.

So that happened. Dad called right before midnight asking what was happening, because we all expected to be home and asleep by then. He and Mom both agreed that the whole situation was decidedly not our fault, and that there wasn't much we could do about it at that point but to finish getting things settled as fast as possible and to drive home safely.

I was surprised at the number of cars still out after midnight in the middle of the week. But we made it home safely just after 1 in the morning. And then I was too keyed up to fall asleep before 2:30. And I had to get up at 7:30 because I had someone picking cinnamon rolls up somewhere between 8 and 9, so I had to be ready for them to come at 8. So I didn't really wake up and feel like myself on Thanksgiving until around 3 in the afternoon, because what better way to treat five hours of sleep than with two cups of coffee and a big heavy meal.


So I don't know if I'll ever try house sitting when the drive is more than 15-20 minutes. I feel like I kind of got the short end of the stick in terms of time spent with family around Thanksgiving this year. I barely even saw Mom's side of the family outside of dinner on Friday night, even though they started arriving and spending time with us on Wednesday. So much of my time was spent driving, and I was tired a lot.

Blog Things:

HERE


Music Things:




I discovered that, despite not seeing the movies or reading the books, the music of Harry Potter is pretty fantastic.

Anastasia, because it just feels wintery.

The Greatest Showman is one that we want to see, so I was pretty excited when they released a couple songs early.

Christmas music, because once Thanksgiving has passed it's time for Christmas music.

How was your November?
Tell me something funny that happened to you.
What is your favorite Christmas song?